Hafidha's Past Life?

[jennythe_reader]

Was anyone else struck by this bit in "Knock on Coffins"?

The room was brilliantly lit by torchieres and a hanging chandelier. Hafidha could see the vacant expressions, the tears shining on the student's cheeks. The creak of SWAT officers breathing behind her was almost drowned out by the buzz of adrenaline's ugly, alluring song.

Awful.

She was an awful human being to miss this so much.

I'm wondering if the "this" she's missing is the rush from being in the field, or something related to her original conversion to a beta.

[glinda_w]

I read it as missing being in the field. (Obligatory "but I could be wrong" disclaimer.)

[jennythe_reader]

It just seems a little strongly worded for that...

I'm probably over thinking things.

[txanne]

Of course it's strongly worded. She's an adrenaline junkie. She gets her fixes from situations where innocent people could die.

[el_jefe]

There is nothing like the rush you get from it. It's the ultimate guilty pleasure.