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Author Topic: Daphne's Bi?  (Read 11392 times)
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BruceCohenPDX
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« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2008, 03:24:23 pm »

I remember hearing about the first study and laughing my ass off.

Hello, let's ignore some four thousand years of documented human sexual behavior....

That's  my reaction, too.  I haven't read that study but I've known enough people of all genders that I'm pretty convinced some of them weren't one thing or another but were really in between.  My guess is that any study done in the US or similar country is not going to be able to overcome the bias caused by the fact that males who engage in any homosexual acts are branded homosexuals, while females are automatically assumed to be merely curious, or at least re-persuadable.*  Reactions like that have a strong effect even on the way people think about themselves, let alone what others think of them.

* I actually had a friend whose second wife left him for a woman, and he took it as an insult to his own sexuality, rather than as an indication that he really ought to learn to treat his wives better.  I didn't stay friends with him long enough to find out what happened to his third wife.
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BruceCohenPDX
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« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2008, 03:30:10 pm »

That previous message may have been ambiguous: the guy I'm talking about wasn't an abuser, just thought that men were men and women were women, and they should learn to live with it.  So he expected fidelity, and it didn't occur to him to give it in return.  If he'sdbeen an abuser I wouldn't have treated him as friend even for 5 seconds.  As it was, we worked together for about 2 years, and then saw each other at D&D campaigns every week or two.  After awhile I found myself holding my nose metaphorically when I talked to him, and it finally got to be too much trouble for too little return from him.  A shame, he could have been a nice guy, but he just never could get over his Idaho redneck upbringing.
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Emma Bull
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« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2008, 07:41:37 pm »

Human sexuality is slippery complicated stuff! 

This would be me, not typing the thing you can see me typing anyway.  Grin
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AntoniaTiger
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« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2008, 12:28:12 pm »

I think they key thing about the report was that they tracked their sample over several years, and used consistent tests, and the people didn't change.

There's still room to argue. But the claim was that people didn't stay bisexual.

Of course, the other thing to recall is that relationships depend on more than sexual attraction. A bisexual in a stable monogamous relationship, gay or straight, doesn't look so bi.
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Elizabeth Bear
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« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2008, 12:31:44 pm »


Yeah, see, that's just foolishness, and it seems to me, from an anthropological perspective, an artifact of modern Western cultural assumptions about the binary nature of sexuality.

This whole idea of identifying oneself as gay or straight or bisexual, as if sexuality was something one *was* rather than something one *did*, is very modern, very Western, and very, very questionable.

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« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2008, 12:54:25 pm »


Yeah, see, that's just foolishness, and it seems to me, from an anthropological perspective, an artifact of modern Western cultural assumptions about the binary nature of sexuality.

This whole idea of identifying oneself as gay or straight or bisexual, as if sexuality was something one *was* rather than something one *did*, is very modern, very Western, and very, very questionable.



Huh. So, is it your opinion that Daphne shouldn't identify herself as bi-sexual? Just introduce Tasha (or her picture) as her partner and leave it at that?
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el_jefe
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« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2008, 01:00:28 pm »

She did. She didn't state that she was bisexual until Chaz asked if she was a lesbian.
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Oshimoi
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« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2008, 01:24:20 pm »

Ah, good point, I'd forgotten the sequence of events there.
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Elizabeth Bear
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« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2008, 01:33:52 pm »

Huh. So, is it your opinion that Daphne shouldn't identify herself as bi-sexual? Just introduce Tasha (or her picture) as her partner and leave it at that?

Daphne is not an anthropologist. *g* Or a social scientist.

My opinion is that she's entitled to call herself whatever the hell she wants, for whatever reasons she chooses to adopt that designation, and have her self-identification respected.

For me, "should" doesn't enter into it. I am not a prescriptivist about other people's behavior, except in the sense that one should not do things that cause harm to others.

The social fact of the matter is, however, that because she's a woman in a monogamous relationship with another woman, people are going to assume that she's a lesbian. Just as people will assume that a woman in a monogamous relationship with a man is straight.

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el_jefe
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« Reply #24 on: March 24, 2008, 02:32:25 pm »

And everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption". -Mitch Henessey
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Elizabeth Bear
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« Reply #25 on: March 24, 2008, 02:38:46 pm »

And everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption". -Mitch Henessey

The Umption guy. You know, every time he opens his mouth....
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Chaz: "As if puberty weren't stressful enough."

Todd: "See? That's why we're better than all those other law enforcement agencies. Correct use of the subjunctive."
el_jefe
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« Reply #26 on: March 24, 2008, 03:15:42 pm »

True. You think he would just sit down and shut up, but he is always going on. Gets it from the Gumption side of the family.
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